what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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