it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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