Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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