only you would photoshop your dick
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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