Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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