dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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