just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
In other news, I just burned my penis
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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