opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
