She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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