if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she peed on how many people?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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