Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
i've created a new STD.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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