I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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