dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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