is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
