so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
