I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
