what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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