don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
