Can i not drive my cunt home
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my shit smells like andre
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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