I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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