I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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