I'm lost and stupid without you.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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