I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My pussy is not your playground.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
