Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
