We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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