Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
