The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
