My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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