Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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