No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
