Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
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I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
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We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
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