I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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