My room smells like vodka and shame
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
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I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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