the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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