I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I currently don't understand fingers.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
