Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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