An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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