Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
