I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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