We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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