Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
