Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
