If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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