glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
