One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
My first STD was from a foam party
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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