You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
