i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she peed on how many people?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
