I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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