i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
