Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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