I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
