So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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