How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
