Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
babies were throwing up all over the place
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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