Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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