SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
