He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
