I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
