I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
