If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
