He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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