Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
