I swear god or herbie drove my car home
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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