So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
