There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
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